A blond man is in the bathroom and his wife shouts: " Did you find the shampoo? "
He answers, " Yes, but I'm not sure what to do... it's for dry hair, and I've just wet mine. "
------------------------------
A blond man goes to the vet with his goldfish.
" I think it's got epilepsy, " he tells the vet.
The vet takes a look and says, " It seems calm enough to me. "
The blonde man says, " Wait, I haven't taken it out of the bowl yet. "
------------------------------------
A blond man spies a letter lying on his doormat.
It says on the envelope " DO NOT BEND " .
He spends the next 2 hours trying to figure out how to pick it up.
------------------------------------
A blond man shouts frantically into the phone, " My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart! "
" Is this her first child? " asks the Doctor.
" No! " he shouts, " this is her husband! "
------------------------------------
A blond man was driving home, drunk as a skunk. Suddenly he has to swerve to avoid a tree, then another, then another.
A cop car pulls him over, so he tells the cop about all the trees in the road.
The cop says, " That's your air freshener swinging about! "
------------------------------------
A blond man's dog goes missing and he is frantic. His wife says " Why don't you
put an ad in the paper? "
He does, but two weeks later the dog is still missing.
" What did you put in the paper? " his wife asks.
" Here boy! " he replies.
------------------------------------
A blond man is in jail. The guard looks in his cell and sees him hanging by his feet.
" Just WHAT are you doing? " he asks.
" Hanging myself, " the blonde replies.
" The rope should be around your neck " says the guard.
" I tried that, " he replies, " but then I couldn't breathe. "
------------------------------------
(This one
actually makes sense.)
An Italian tourist asks a blond man: " Why do scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats? " To which the blonde man replies: " If they fell forward, they'd still be in the boat. "
--------------------------------------
A friend told the blond man: " Christmas is on a Friday this year. "
The blonde man then said, " Let's hope it's not the 13th. "
------------------------------------
Two blond men find three grenades, and they decide to take them to a police station.
One asked: " What if one explodes before we get there? "
The other says: " We'll lie and say we only found two. "
------------------------------------
A woman phoned her blond neighbour man and said: " Close your curtains the next time you & & your wife are having sex. The whole street was watching and laughing at you yesterday. "
To which the blond man replied: " Well the joke's on all of you because I wasn't even at home yesterday."
He answers, " Yes, but I'm not sure what to do... it's for dry hair, and I've just wet mine. "
------------------------------
A blond man goes to the vet with his goldfish.
" I think it's got epilepsy, " he tells the vet.
The vet takes a look and says, " It seems calm enough to me. "
The blonde man says, " Wait, I haven't taken it out of the bowl yet. "
------------------------------------
A blond man spies a letter lying on his doormat.
It says on the envelope " DO NOT BEND " .
He spends the next 2 hours trying to figure out how to pick it up.
------------------------------------
A blond man shouts frantically into the phone, " My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart! "
" Is this her first child? " asks the Doctor.
" No! " he shouts, " this is her husband! "
------------------------------------
A blond man was driving home, drunk as a skunk. Suddenly he has to swerve to avoid a tree, then another, then another.
A cop car pulls him over, so he tells the cop about all the trees in the road.
The cop says, " That's your air freshener swinging about! "
------------------------------------
A blond man's dog goes missing and he is frantic. His wife says " Why don't you
put an ad in the paper? "
He does, but two weeks later the dog is still missing.
" What did you put in the paper? " his wife asks.
" Here boy! " he replies.
------------------------------------
A blond man is in jail. The guard looks in his cell and sees him hanging by his feet.
" Just WHAT are you doing? " he asks.
" Hanging myself, " the blonde replies.
" The rope should be around your neck " says the guard.
" I tried that, " he replies, " but then I couldn't breathe. "
------------------------------------
(This one
actually makes sense.)
An Italian tourist asks a blond man: " Why do scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats? " To which the blonde man replies: " If they fell forward, they'd still be in the boat. "
--------------------------------------
A friend told the blond man: " Christmas is on a Friday this year. "
The blonde man then said, " Let's hope it's not the 13th. "
------------------------------------
Two blond men find three grenades, and they decide to take them to a police station.
One asked: " What if one explodes before we get there? "
The other says: " We'll lie and say we only found two. "
------------------------------------
A woman phoned her blond neighbour man and said: " Close your curtains the next time you & & your wife are having sex. The whole street was watching and laughing at you yesterday. "
To which the blond man replied: " Well the joke's on all of you because I wasn't even at home yesterday."
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