As we grow older

Nine Important Facts to Remember, as We Grow Older:





Number 9 - Death is the number 1 killer in the world.



Number 8 - Life is sexually transmitted.



Number 7 - Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.



Number 6 - Men have two emotions: hungry and horny, and they can't tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.



Number 5 - Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day.



Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe even years.



Number 4 - Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.



Number 3 - All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.



Number 2 - In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.



Number 1 - Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers.

What you do today might burn your ass tomorrow.



...and as someone recently said to me:



Don't worry about old age; it doesn't last that long