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Just a few jokes
Attachment 167611
The Indian With One Testicle
There once was an Indian who had only one testicle
and whose given name was 'Onestone'. He hated that
name and asked everyone not to call him Onestone.
After years and years of torment, Onestone finally
cracked and said,' If anyone calls me Onestone
again I will kill them!'
The word got around and nobody called
him that any more.
Then one day a young woman named Blue Bird
forgot and said, 'Good morning, Onestone.' He
jumped up, grabbed her and took her deep into
the forest where he made love to her all day and
all night. He made love to her all the next day,
until Blue Bird died from exhaustion.
The word got around that Onestone meant what
he promised he would do. Years went by and no
one dared call him by his given name until A woman
named Yellow Bird returned to the village after being
away. Yellow Bird , who wasBlue Bird's cousin, was
overjoyed when she saw Onestone. She hugged him
and said, 'Good to see you, Onestone.'
Onestone grabbed her, took her deep into the forest,
then he made love to her all day, made love to her all
night, made love to her all the next day, made love to
her all the next night, butYellow Bird wouldn't die!
Why ???
OH, come on.... take a guess !!!
Think about it !!!
You're going to love this !!!
Everyone knows...
You can't kill Two Birds
withOneStone!!!
I remember the cheese of my childhood
and the bread that we cut with a knife
When the children helped with the housework,
and the men went to work, not the wife.
The cheese never needed a fridge
and the bread was so crusty and hot.
The children were seldom unhappy
and the wife was content with her lot.
I remember the milk from the bottle,
with the yummy cream on the top.
Our dinner came hot from the oven,
and not from the fridge; in the shop.
The kids were a lot more contented,
they didn't need money for kicks.
Just a game with their mates in the road
and sometimes the Saturday flicks.
I remember the shop on the corner,
where a pen'orth of sweets was sold.
Do you think I'm a bit too nostalgic?
Or is it....I'm just getting old?
I remember the 'loo' was the lavvy
and the bogey man came in the night.
It wasn't the least bit funny
going "out back" with no light.
Hung on a peg in that loo,
were interesting items to view,
from newspapers cut into squares.
It took little to keep us amused.
Dirty clothes were boiled in the copper,
with plenty of rich foamy suds.
But the ironing seemed never ending
as Mum pressed everyone's 'duds'.
I remember the slap on my backside
and the taste of soap if I swore.
Anorexia and diets weren't heard of
and we hadn't much choice what we wore.
Do you think that bruised our ego?
or our initiative was destroyed?
We ate what was put on the table
and I think life was better enjoyed.
But a huge fact not hereto mentioned
in this mushy tale of nostalgic rejoice,
is the reason we all "enjoyed" our lot
Was that we had NO BLOODY CHOICE.....
The Indian With One Testicle
There once was an Indian who had only one testicle
and whose given name was 'Onestone'. He hated that
name and asked everyone not to call him Onestone.
After years and years of torment, Onestone finally
cracked and said,' If anyone calls me Onestone
again I will kill them!'
The word got around and nobody called
him that any more.
Then one day a young woman named Blue Bird
forgot and said, 'Good morning, Onestone.' He
jumped up, grabbed her and took her deep into
the forest where he made love to her all day and
all night. He made love to her all the next day,
until Blue Bird died from exhaustion.
The word got around that Onestone meant what
he promised he would do. Years went by and no
one dared call him by his given name until A woman
named Yellow Bird returned to the village after being
away. Yellow Bird , who wasBlue Bird's cousin, was
overjoyed when she saw Onestone. She hugged him
and said, 'Good to see you, Onestone.'
Onestone grabbed her, took her deep into the forest,
then he made love to her all day, made love to her all
night, made love to her all the next day, made love to
her all the next night, butYellow Bird wouldn't die!
Why ???
OH, come on.... take a guess !!!
Think about it !!!
You're going to love this !!!
Everyone knows...
You can't kill Two Birds
withOneStone!!!
I remember the cheese of my childhood
and the bread that we cut with a knife
When the children helped with the housework,
and the men went to work, not the wife.
The cheese never needed a fridge
and the bread was so crusty and hot.
The children were seldom unhappy
and the wife was content with her lot.
I remember the milk from the bottle,
with the yummy cream on the top.
Our dinner came hot from the oven,
and not from the fridge; in the shop.
The kids were a lot more contented,
they didn't need money for kicks.
Just a game with their mates in the road
and sometimes the Saturday flicks.
I remember the shop on the corner,
where a pen'orth of sweets was sold.
Do you think I'm a bit too nostalgic?
Or is it....I'm just getting old?
I remember the 'loo' was the lavvy
and the bogey man came in the night.
It wasn't the least bit funny
going "out back" with no light.
Hung on a peg in that loo,
were interesting items to view,
from newspapers cut into squares.
It took little to keep us amused.
Dirty clothes were boiled in the copper,
with plenty of rich foamy suds.
But the ironing seemed never ending
as Mum pressed everyone's 'duds'.
I remember the slap on my backside
and the taste of soap if I swore.
Anorexia and diets weren't heard of
and we hadn't much choice what we wore.
Do you think that bruised our ego?
or our initiative was destroyed?
We ate what was put on the table
and I think life was better enjoyed.
But a huge fact not hereto mentioned
in this mushy tale of nostalgic rejoice,
is the reason we all "enjoyed" our lot
Was that we had NO BLOODY CHOICE.....
Attached Images
| File Type: jpg | image001[6061].jpg (98.9 KB) |
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