The Pirate

A pirate walked into a bar, and the bartender said, "Hey, I haven't seen

you in a while. What happened? You look terrible."

"What do you mean?" said the pirate, "I feel fine."

"What about the wooden leg? You didn't have that before."

"Well," said the pirate, "We were in a battle, and I got hit with a

cannon ball, but I'm fine now."

The bartender replied, "Well, OK, but what about that hook? What happened to

your hand?"

The pirate explained, "We were in another battle. I boarded a ship and got

into a sword fight. My hand was cut off.

I got fitted with a hook but I'm fine, really."

"What about that eye patch?"

"Oh," said the pirate, "One day we were at sea, and a flock of birds

flew over. I looked up, and one of them **** in my eye."

"You're kidding," said the bartender. "You couldn't lose an eye just from

bird ****."

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"It was my first day with the hook."