Fifty shades of grey ............

- (a husband's point of view)............By Pam Ayres



The missus bought a Paperback, Down Shepton Mallet way, I had a look inside her bag;

T 'was "Fifty Shades of Grey".

Well I just left her to it, And at ten I went to bed.

An hour later she appeared;

The sight filled me with dread...

In her left she held a rope; And in her right a whip!

She threw them down upon the floor, And then began to strip.

Well fifty years or so ago; I might have had a peek;

But Mabel hasn't weathered well; She's eighty four next week!!

Watching Mabel bump and grind; Could not have been much grimmer.

And things then went from bad to worse; She toppled off her Zimmer!

She struggled back upon her feet; A couple minutes later;

She put her teeth back in and said I am a dominater !!

Now if you knew our Mabel,You'd see just why I spluttered,

I'd spent two months in traction For the last complaint I'd uttered.

She stood there nude and naked Bent forward just a bit

I went to hold her, sensual like And stood on her left t1t!

Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out;

My god what had I done!?

She moaned and groaned then shouted out: "Step on the other one"!!

Well readers, I can't tell no more

About what occurred that day.

Suffice to say my jet black hair,

Turned fifty shades of grey.